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One of the interesting things about being adding a new wife is the experinces it has given us. One which I found interesting was the courting aspect.

We looked at poly courting in the same way that we did monogamous courting. In monogamy, after a man and woman realize they decide they like each other more than friends, they may move into a courting phase. Talking, spending time, dates, ect. Poly courting is different in one aspect--there is more than two people.

It was important for us that all of the spice were involved in the courting process. This helps to ensure that everyone is compatiable and likes the new spice. I feel that each wife needs to take part in the courtship.

We all made sure that Ruby Roses pent time with all of us and time with each of us alone while she was here last weekend. When she comes in December, we will make sure that she is included in dates, shopping trips, or just hanging around together. In this modern age, texting, email and chats can also be a nice way to interact. We will also make it a point to include her in our family trips as well. This will allow her and her child to interact with ours and to see how we blend. To say the least, 11 people walking into anywhere can make quite an entrance!

It is also important that each of the spice is honest about thier expectations, goals, and dreams. Where do each of you want to go? Are you heading in the same directions? Before we marry and since we've been courting, we shared with Ruby Roses what our plans for the future are and we let her know that we would understand if she did not want to continue a courtship because of those plans. We prepared ourselves for the possibility that she may not have the same goals as us. In turn, we asked her what her short term and long term goals were. For us, we were able to find similarities and differences but were able to blend the two. That is not always the case, and it could have just have easily ended up with the courtship ending.

In the end, each of us will have dated RubyRoses, individually and as a group. This will help to solidfy relationship with all of us and to help her come into the family with more of a polymindset. She doesn't see herself as just courting and/or marrying me but being courted and hopefully marrying all of us.

Some of you are courting right now or have already started a poly family. What kind of courtship did you have or are having? What other suggestions do you have? We look forward to your responses.