What should they do? How would you feel if you were the husband, the new wife, and the other 2 sisterwives?
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SteadFastLove |
To cook or not to cook? Who's the chef? |
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A 2 wife poly family of 15 years brings in a third wife. All these years the husband has been the cook of the family because he enjoys it. At one time, he
was even a chef for a famous restaurant. The new wife is also a chef; infact, she still works for a fancy restuarant. She wants to take over the families
cooking, but the husband does not want to give it up.
What should they do? How would you feel if you were the husband, the new wife, and the other 2 sisterwives?
Helping others to work towards a polygynous mindset more and more everyday!
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loki4 |
These are great situations! | #1 | ||
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I am the chef in our household and the girls appreciate that or at least they say they do. I also do meal planning and shopping. This is difficult as one
person is a vegetarian and will not eat fish either and the other two are not as strict. This situation demands a family conference! Some compromises are
sharing the shopping and cooking two to three times a week. When folks fight in this arena the family budget can go out the window and some responsible party
needs to review costs etc. -Steve.
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noniemurphy |
#2 | |||
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I wanna join that family lol. My hubby is a chef and he hardley even make macaroni anymore. (Of course he still cooks for a living -who wants to come home and
cook)
In that situtation - I being the first wife would be doing cart wheels because I would rather do dishes. I think that the new wife and hubby should just take turns. We plan our meals a month in advance to make shopping easier, so I would just have them get together and maybe make a custody schedule for the kitchen. Hubby should def. let her help. Who knows he might enjoy her style of cooking or even learn some new stuff. Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. |
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shara |
#3 | |||
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compromise, compromise , compromise unless they all really hate her style of cooking then ...... as one of the other 2 sw i would sit at the table like the
sara lee commercial until somebody fed me i don't care who lol but i wouldn't get involved i guess it's not my fight unless i hate her cooking.....
in my own home my prince kicked me out the kitchen november 3, 06 so he could cook said he was giving me a break after umpteen yrs, i was hurt at first but i
soon came to enjoy it since he cleaned up after himself heh, heh, now i've sauntered myself back in there and we share.
Ps. what about cooking together |
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noniemurphy |
#4 | |||
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Forgot about together - Good one!!!
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. |
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SteadFastLove |
#5 | |||
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Nice thoughts so far, any other takers?
Helping others to work towards a polygynous mindset more and more everyday!
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loki4 |
Compromises. | #6 | ||
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Compromise is a very interesting subject. To some it means giving away pieces of yourself until nothing is left and to me it can mean a way of getting along
together by finding a middle path in a situation where some paths lead to hard places.
We are all different people and by holding a rigid line on what it is we expect we can easily overide another's feelings. Question. How do you get 100 Canadians out of the pool? Answer. Ask. lol. Be well , Steve.
Last Edited By: loki4 06/24/09 01:11 PM.
Edited 1 time.
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SteadFastLove |
#7 | |||
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Yes Steve. To me when we agree to compromise, it means that we show the others in our family that their opinions, thoughts, beliefs, desires, ideas, and
feelings are just important to us as our own.
Helping others to work towards a polygynous mindset more and more everyday!
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Kester |
cooking | #8 | ||
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Hi all
I do most of the cooking in our home. I am a vegetarian, my wife eats meat and due to autism behaviourial issues, my kids are on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD). This means that I am often cooking three meals at once, no pre-packed ready meals here I like cooking and breadmaking but there are times..... I think that in the
situation above, sharing the cooking or cooking together would be the solution. Sitting down to share homecooked good food that you have prepared together is
a really good way to bond, although there is something to be said for cooking for your loved ones.
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Patience |
#9 | |||
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I agree that compromise would be beneficial. Have they thought about looking at their schedules so that when they have a "crazy busy" day that the
other does the cooking? Something else that comes to mind is WHY does each have such a strong desire to cook for the family? Is it their way of showing love
and support? If so it's easier to understand why each has a strong desire to cook the meals. With understanding it's easier to come up with a workable
solution.
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moonlightfamily |
#10 | |||
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Personally I would LOVE to have a sister who cooks! As the only cook in my family I would have to say that it is so hard to come up with something new that we
havn't eaten in the last 2 weeks!!
I would say they should cook together or have specific days where each of them cooks. Mrs.Moonlight
Last Edited By: moonlightfamily 07/13/09 07:12 PM.
Edited 1 time.
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jaca6969 |
the Chef of the house | #11 | ||
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at Current I am the Chef of the house and both women love my cooking how ever there are things that Becca and Liz are both very good cooks and I do not mind
giving up the control of the kitchen for there are several things that they make that I love Becca's Pecan pie and Chicken slicks so as far as who cooks
and who doesnt I would have to say it all depends on who is in the mood to cook that night or try spending time doing the cooking together
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Natja |
#12 | |||
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I don't know why this would be an issue, putting aside the idea that I would wonder why someone who has to spend all day cooking at work would want to do
it at home also (bit control freaky I think) surely sharing the cooking duties would be better, sometimes people want a break, especially if everyone is
working. I wouldn't mind someone cooking for me every once in a while....usually that person happens to be the person who works in the kitchen at various
restaurants........ ;o)
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beccablue |
#13 | |||
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Last Edited By: beccablue 09/01/09 12:42 AM.
Edited 2 times.
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SteadFastLove |
#14 | |||
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When I lived monogamously, I was the cook, cleaner, full-time mom and everything. Antony and Jadez came into my life, and all of a sudden, I did not have to do it ALL! Wow! I was impressed and blessed! I was overjoyed! Jadez had her things she cooked. Antony use to be a chef, so he loved cooking as well. I still cook every one in a while, but like Becca, its not enjoyable to me. I love to bake though. Sarah Eve cooks every once in a while as well, but for the most part, Antony is out chef!
Helping others to work towards a polygynous mindset more and more everyday!
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Natja |
#15 | |||
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Oh I hear you! I don't mind cooking, I don't mind the admin and I don't mind the childcare but I would love to give up some of the cleaning
(blurgh!!!!) ;o))
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nunu55 |
#16 | |||
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My ideal is for me to cook, something I love, and the other wife to clean. Child care is not an issue. At 55 I'm not likely to have another. I had my 1,
raised him, sent him to school, and saw him on his way. I don't want to do it again. Nope it will be an older family for me.
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chelone1 |
#17 | |||
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I love to cook and bake. It is my creative outlet and one way of expressing my love. My grown son also cooks in a restaurant and at home for his girlfriend and
her family. (He lives with her family in her parents' home) Cleaning to me is a necessary "evil" that is unpleasant at best. I try to maintain
things in ways to minimize having to clean, but that takes co-operation from everyone living in the house. H likes to cook, but after taking care of the farm
all day he is usually happy to let me do most of the cooking, except for a few of his specialties. ( And sometimes he will just hand me a recipe LOL)
I think in the original scenario the family should work out general menues together to organize the shopping. And then depending on their styles of cooking and what they are comfortable with, the new wife and husband can cook together or alternate or work out who does what by what the meal plan is and who prefers to do certain things. |
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Reggia |
#18 | |||
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My two coins on this is the following--Whoever is best at a particular task, and enjoys the same would do the largest amount--i.e. my former SW and I divided
it as the following--I was the best cook, so I would cook Sunday through Thursday, Friday night was "mustgoes" everything that must go out of the
refrigerator (ie leftover heaven)--Saturday SW would cook or would get pizza etc. She and I divided up tasks in home SW suites each kept their own--boys room
she did I did laundry--Our martial suite or man cave--big daddy kept pretty much (with assistance) and he vacuumed throughout. One big cleaning was done on
Friday night so the weekend was free. Child care was divided as the following, I would take boys to school and pick them up --she would stay here and get
homework station started and after school snacks. It just takes grown people being grown!
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