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We should first understand that this is a very delicate issue and needs to be handled in a practical way without hurting anyone involved. It could happen in a polygamous family where a new wife is close to the age of the son of another wife.

giorgina wrote:

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Hi from Italy. I think she should simply tell him that she loves his father and that she is grateful for his interest but she is not interested. He will suffer for a while than he will direct his attention to other younger and hopefully free girls. I would avoid to involve the father in the issue, I'd rather ask for help from the eldest son's mother, but only if the relationship between the 2 SWs is very good.

I just would like to add the a young 17 y.o. boy is by far less grown than a young mother of 2. She should explain him this to him with his mother's help

Love

Giorgina

I believe the first approach should be to only involve the biological mother of the son. This would help him to understand from his mother that what he is doing is wrong and he would not have to be embarassed that everyone in the family knows his 'secret'.

shara wrote:

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This is a very sticky situation with the potential to cause hurt on all fronts but i do not believe it should be hidden, this is family, the adults should understand that he's a young boy just trying to find his way and handle it as such, if dad is not a complete heel he should be able to talk to his son in a way that does not cause any permanent damage. The dad should not approach his son in a confrontational way but as an elder admonishing a younger man, there are many ways for him to teach his son the respect that's due to his young wife and still save face. If handled correctly this young man will one day look back on this and laugh at his own innocence. So in the end I think the dad should be the one to handle the situation, coming from him it would be like a death knell to whatever feelings he's harbouring, if the women disrespect the dad by hiding it from him in front of the son this might just add fuel to the fire. This is only my humble opinion.

Grace and Peace Shara

If initial advice from his mother fails, then, it would have to taken up to his father, and everyone would need to sit down and talk in a 'non-confrontational way'. The young man has to understand that he cannot get himself romantically involved with another woman who is a wife of another man.