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I agree with previous posters that it is absolutely critical that we, as parents, introduce and explain sex in the context of a loving relationship, rather than a child learning about it from her/his peer group. It infuriates me that, in the West, most teens' first sexual experience is pornography.

However, I do think that expecting teens in the industrialised world to completely abstain from sex is unrealistic for the vast majority. Western culture surrounds us all - adults and children - with images of overt sexuality via advertising, TV programmes, music, books and films and even children's toys and clothes (e.g. Playboy logo on children's clothes and pencil cases; T-shirts for 5-year-olds which read: 'So Many Boys, So Little Time'). Even if we do not buy or use these things in our family, our children will see them in the shops, at school and at friends' houses. It is impossible, in such an environment, for the average teen, already buzzing with hormones, to remain unaffected.

I understand the point that permitting marriage at a younger age allows for free expression of sexuality inside marriage, but I would ask how many of us could have made a sensible choice of life-partner as a teen. The chances are that we would have leapt at the first reasonably attractive and flatteringly interested person who offered. While there are some marriages between teens that last the distance, there are many that fall apart horribly. The fact is that not every, or even most, sexually mature teens are sufficiently emotionally and mentally mature for a responsible adult relationship.

In consequence, I would argue strongly in favour of an open-minded approach to masturbation. Teens have the same sexual urges that adults do, in some cases, even stronger. We don't expect celibacy of ourselves - those of us without relationships seek them out - so how can we expect that degree of self-control and self-discipline in a teen? Masturbation and fantasy are sexual safety valves: a teen who employs them is a teen who is less likely to experience an unwanted pregnancy or STD because s/he feels less urgency to seek out a sexual partner. And it is not necessarily the case that a person with a fantasy 'needs' to act it out in the real world: masturbation can be sufficient release.

Masturbation is also vital as a safety valve for society. Some teens (both male and female) with no socially acceptable outlet for their sexual urges begin to sexually predate on younger children: often siblings, cousins, children of family friends and children they babysit. These teens are not paedophiles: they would much prefer sexual contact with someone their own age or older. They are simply desperate, and a younger child can be pressured more easily than someone their own age can be coaxed. The teens, barely out of childhood themselves, often don't really see it as abuse, but as naughty play. Child abuse by teens in our simultaneously repressed and permissive western societies is frighteningly prevalent and massively under-reported; children are much more likely to 'tell' when they are abused by an adult than when it is a teen. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that masturbation and personal fantasies (NOT using porn or any other material) are infinitely preferable to such an outcome.

Guilt-free masturbation from youth also increases the chances of a person always having genuinely consensual sex inside relationships, as a person who is capable of (at least partly) meeting her/his own sexual needs has less need to coerce, pressure or nag a partner for sex. Lack of sexual pressure leads to better quality, more trusting relationships. It is also worth noting that people who masturbate tend to be people who have more fulfilling sex lives as adults (see the Hite Reports for statistics) as they are more in tune with their bodies and their own sensuality.